Anxiety Attack

Hello again, world!

Okay, so... My mother just gave me a pep talk to boost my morale after I poured my heart out to her as to how bad I think I did during the first semester. One thing I have always admired about my mom is that she can laugh about anything and remain to have fun (or at least try as best as she could to have fun) even in the worst of situations and in the bleakest of circumstances. I hope I could be even just half as strong as the person that she is -- beautiful even in the ugliest of times, graceful even in the most tumultuous of conditions.

The thing is, I really need the strength right now, and I am not referring to brute strength or the physical strength; but the strength of heart, soul, and mind. Now, more than ever, I need to gravitate my thoughts and energy on the positive; to look for and appreciate the silver lining in these tough times, in this gloomy chapter of life. I need the mental fortitude to accept the things that have been and to carry on for the sake of future endeavors. Now, more than ever, I need my mom. I know she's there for me, too; always have, always will be. I can just fervently hope that I may always keep her words in mind and translate those into actions.

For now, I will hold back the tears and silence the anxious voice inside my head (that always manages to creep into my late night thoughts, making me question everything). I will do my best to be strong, even if that strength would be just a front right now, and I will face every obstacle which may come my way. I have no other choice anyway... (well, except death. I could just kill myself but that would be so anti-climatic, actually. I still envision my life's climax to be the time when I become a lawyer whose virtues money cannot buy, and make my parents superdeedooper proud! And then I could die. Also, suicide would bring so much attention to my death. I'd be in the spotlight. And I hate the spotlight.)

Anyway...

Wish me luck!
And pray for me. Please pray for me.
Bye!